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Mazel Tov To Steven Avery For Getting Married To A Woman Way Out His League

Steven Avery Wife Fiancee Lynn Hartman

Steven Avery–the man who may or may not have brutally raped and murdered Teresa Halbach after coercing his mentally handicapped nephew Brandon Dassey to assist him in the crime–just got engaged! In prison! So mazel to the happy couple! The lucky woman who is definitely not looking for fame or attention is named Lynn Hartman, and she’s a legal secretary who’s been trying to help Steven Avery get out of jail. She’s part of the AveryDassey Project

All jokes aside, I have absolutely no clue how a guy like Steven was able to land a comparatively hot bird like Lynn. Actually, I might have an idea how, but it’s 100% not because she’s looking for a book deal or exclusive interview. Nope, definitely not. Is Making a Murderer Season 2 even green lit yet? Oh, it is? That’s strange. Hmm…

You know someone who’s not happy about the engagement? Steven’s former fiancee, Sandra Greenman. Apparently, Sandra had been visiting Steven in jail for ten years, but Steven dumped her for an upgrade in Lynn (who he just met in person for the first time ever). He even cheated on Sandra by talking to Lynn on the phone for eight months in secret. Play on player, that’s what we say here on the outside.

The thing is, Sandra knows she’s toast. She’s seen the light at the end of the tunnel, but that’s not going to stop her from being bitter about it. Check out the haymakers she’s throwing at Steven in this quote.

‘She’s very pretty, there’s no way she’d want Steven Avery usually,’ Greenman said. ‘All the family are afraid of her, something isn’t right, I know she wants fame, and she’s looking for money.’

Talk about jealousy, right? Let a man live for God’s sake Sandra. Just because he maybe/probably committed some ungodly crime and used someone slower than him as a pawn in a disgusting rape/murder doesn’t mean that Steven doesn’t get to do what the rest of men on the outside have been doing for years.

Honestly, I’m still in shock that Steven’s finally had something good happen to him after he’s been such a victim. So take a look at Lynn’s photos in the gallery below while I regain my breath.

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