If you haven’t already heard, AshelyMadison.com was recently hacked, leaking personal and intimate information of over 37 million users of the cheating website. The data, which amounts to millions of payment transactions, includes names, street address, email address and amount paid, but not credit card numbers; instead it includes four digits for each transaction that may be the last four digits of the credit card or simply a transaction ID unique to each charge. Seven years worth of credit card and other payment transaction details are also part of the dump, going back to 2008.
The data dump of 9.7 gigabytes has sent adulterous men into a frenzy. I only say men because, predictably, the vast majority of Ashley Madison users worldwide—around 85%—are men. As a result, men across the nation have already started fleeing to Mexico, quitting their jobs, committing suicide, blaming Obama, among other things. Well, none of that is actually true (yet) , but it wouldn’t surprise me if men were collectively losing their sh*t and jumping off of buildings left and right. After all, hell hath no fury like a woman’s scorned. Luckily for us, someone on Reddit has way to much time on their hands, and comprised a list of this data to show the most unfaithful states in the union.
Top 20 Most Unfaithful States In America
1. Alabama
2. Colorado
3. District of Columbia
4. New Jersey
5. Connecticut
6. Arkansas
7. Massachusetts
8. New York
9. New Hampshire
10. Virginia
11. Maryland
12. Illinois
13. California
14. Washington
15. Rhode Island
16. Pennsylvania
17. Texas
18. Utah
19. Delaware
20. Georgia
Here is the full map:
Oh man, I could talk about this Ashley Madison hack all day, I really could. It’s blogger gold. There’s a lot of directions we can take this, so I’m just gonna hit you with some bullet points of the highlights of this data.
a) Alabama as number one, the LEAST surprising ranking on this list.
b) COLORADO?!? NUMBER 2?! WTF??? I thought they were all supposed to be really chill out there.
c) Jersey, my home state, coming in hot at #4. Stay reppin’ Jersey.
d) West Virginia and Mississippi as the bottom two, an endless well of incestual jokes.
f) Of the top 20, only three of them are from the “western” half of the country: Colorado, Califorina, and Utah.
g) Come to think of it, I’m surprised Utah even knew what Ashley Madison was.
h) D.C. really got the sh*t end of the stick. With a much smaller sample size and higher average income, they were bound to be high on this list. Sorry, D.C.
i) This hack is just the latest example of the fact that no one is safe from the internet, so if you’re going to have an affair, do it the old fashioned way.