14 Reasons Why This Weekend Won’t Suck [August 8th - 10th]

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Why This Weekend Won't Suck

You made it to the weekend! Congratulations, young buck. As a reward for getting through another yet another long week, here are 14 different options you have to make this an unforgettable weekend. The only bad news with all these options is that you have no right to complain about being bored.

Not only have we listed some great music festivals around the country to attend, there are also a host of new releases, holidays, and FOOTBALL to keep you occupied Friday-Sunday.

Here are 14 Reasons Why This Weekend Won’t Suck…

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Need for Speed

(Blu-ray Release)

Aaron Paul’s first big gig post-Breaking Bad was this flash-bash-and-crash big-screen adaptation of Electronic Arts’ popular namesake videogame series. Need for Speed seemed to be gone-in-sixty-seconds from theaters, but it actually proved to be a modest worldwide hit and its Hollywood-bulked B-flick energy will serve you just fine this weekend for an air-conditioned evening in. Paul brings his familiar high-octane intensity as a gearhead steet racer. Dominic Cooper (Iron Man’s dad in the Captain America movies) is the bad guy. Brace yourself to motor-lust for movie’s real star, the 2015 Ford Mustang.


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Mastodon – Remission

(Deluxe Box Set Reissue)

Contemporary heavy metal’s boldest artistic risk-takers and most mammothly stoner-friendly sludge-prog earth-shakers, Atlanta’s Mastodon revisits the album that ignited their universal rock conquest with an exquisite box set befitting the band’s ever-expanding cosmic scope. Mastodon debuted in 2002 with the instant classic Remission, and Relapse Records just-issued special edition boasts two remastered LPs on oxblood-colored vinyl, a digital download of all the music, and a 24-page booklet featuring previously unseen paintings and other works by esteemed cover artist Paul Romano. Tune in, spark up, rock out.


DEEPSEA CHALLENGE 3D

(in select theaters now)

You know that James Cameron is alive and well and making three Avatar sequels–but you’ll still be holding your breath as the famous director indulges his need to explore the ocean. More specifically, Cameron is exploring 35,787 feet down in a 2012 solo dive to the deepest known place on Earth. It’s a good thing that Cameron has the money to make sure that his sub/pod/sci-fi craft is built right. DEEPSEA CHALLENGE 3D tells the story at an economical 90 minutes, and that covers two other dives leading up to the big deep one. There’s also time to meet the crew and feel pretty good about Cameron as a person. The use of 3D, of course, meets Cameron’s own usual high standards. The big surprise, however, is a human element that turns this document of a rich guy’s indulgence into a really inspiring tale.  [J.R. Taylor]


 

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Without Warning (1980)

(DVD/Blu-ray Release)

The crackpot sci-fi/horror drive-in hit (turned cult favorite) Without Warning is wild, innovative, and well-remembered enough to warrant a proper Blu-ray release and, better still, it’s getting one loaded with special features from the ever-heroic Scream Factory. Baby-faced David Caruso and his teen hiking posse contend with a space alien in the woods who’s here to hunt humans by throwing essence-depleting jellyfist at them. Crusty truck stop proprietor Jack Palance and grizzled war veteran Martin Landau battle the bulb-headed baddie; F Troop‘s Larry Storch does not fare well as a cub scout leader. The monster is portrayed by Kevin Peter Hall, who went on to the title role in 1987’s Predator–a film long accused of borrowing more than just its lead creature actor from Without Warning.


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Outside Lands

(San Francisco | Aug 8-10 | All-Day)

Mega-festival fever overtakes San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park for three days of nonstop genre-hopping sounds and sensations. With a line-up to rival any of this year’s most expansive giant music gatherings, Kanye West closes the show Friday, Tom Petty headlines Saturday ,and the Killers wrap it all up on Sunday. Other scheduled standouts include Arctic Monkeys, Haim, Macklemore, Spoon, Flaming Lips, Disclosure, Ray Lamontagne, Grouplove, Duck Sauce,and Jenny Lewis, along with comedy from Lewis Black, Aisha Tyler, and Garfunkel and Oates. Just remember the financial realities of the present-day City by the Bay: this ain’t the Summer of Love, it’s the Summer of Bring All Your Available Cash.


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Flashback Weekend: Chicago Horror Convention

(Chicago | Crowne Plaza Hotel | Aug 8-10)

Hardcore horror mavens will thrill to this long-running spook show’s special guests on the order of John Franklin and Courtney Gains (Isaac and Malachi of 1984’s Children of the Corn) and a live concert by the stars of the 1979 cult classic Phantasm, but even the most casual Nightmare on Elm Street admirer should be enticed by the opportunity to see Robert Englund in his Freddy Krueger makeup for what all involved decree will be “the final time.” FX guru Robert Kurtzman is slated to lather on the paint and latex live, and proceeds from sales of photo ops with Freddy will benefit a fund to purchase a digital projector for Illinois’s iconic Midway Drive-in Theater.


 Arise

Arise Music Festival

(Loveland, CO| Aug 8-10 | All Weekend)

Loveland, Colorado’s sprawling Sunrise Ranch hosts three days of jam bands, camp outs, hippie art, yoga chicks, natural healers, costume themes, elaborate bike trails, and what is sure to be happily cloudy skies directly related to the state’s recent legal coolness with the use of recreational marijuana. Improvisational music-makers Beats Antique, Galactic, Grateful Grass, Groundation, and Kan’nal top a long line-up of appropriately heady live soundtrack providers.


 ASP

ASP 6-Star Supergirl Pro

(Oceanside, CA | Aug 8-10)

The world’s largest all-female surf competition shoots the curl (and curves) at the Oceanside Pier in Oceanside, California. Pro-boarding babes include Bethany Hamilton, Alana Blanchard, Coco Ho, Courtney Conlogue, Malia Manuel, Laura Enerver, Sage Erickson, Sophia Mulanovich, Paige Hareb,and Pauline Ado. If you can’t hang ten seaside, ease back and let the action splash out of your TV via Fox Sports Net, which will be broadcasting the event live.


Wenches

Pirates and Wenches Fantasy Fest

(Rock Hall, MD | Aug 8-10)

Avast, maties and ladies, for Rockhill, Maryland’s 7th annual seadog invasion. Thousands of costume-clad swashbucklers and sirens rush ashore to revel in beach parties, rum tastings, a poker tournament, the big Buccaneer Ball, and a massive decorated dinghy contest. Lusty, busty, bawdy babes abound as well, brandishing booty galore to glandlubbers everywhere.


SPARTAN RACE AT FENWAY PARK

Boston Spartan Race

(Boston | Amesbury Sports Park | Aug 9-10)

Amesbury Sports Park converts its famous winter snow-tube hill into a 3.5 mile onslaught of obtacles, ambushes, and outragous physical challenges for the raucous running devotees of Spartan racing. Two full days of mud, sweat, and post-finishline beers kick off Saturday morning at 7:30am with 250 participants being released into the course every fifteen minutes. Go smell the Spartans!


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2nd Annual KCBMC Beard & Moustache Competition

(Kansas City, MO | Aug 9)

Kansas City, Missouri’s facial hair frolic of last summer proved to be such a hirsute hit that round two is going down (and growing out) at the Uptown Theater this Saturday. Contestants can vie for prizes in fifteen categories and revel in one another’s kisser whiskers amidst live music, silent auctions, and craft beers. Wax on, party hard.


 

preseason

NFL Preseason Football (Week 1)

(August 8-9th)

It might not be the real deal, but it’s something! American football weekends unofficially start with a total of ten games spread out between Friday and Saturday nights. Most of these games are probably only going to be good for the first few possessions, but the one I would watch is the Atlanta Falcons game against the Dolphins on Friday night at 7:00 PM–if only because it’s going to give you a heads-up as to what to expect from an upcoming Hard Knocks episode.


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Teen Choice Awards 2014

(Aug 10)

Fox primetime surrenders to the annual gala of celebrities submitting to underage Internet voters and picking up phony trophies. Modern Family’s Sarah Hyland and Teen Wolf star Tyler Posey co-host. Taylor Swift performs; Megan Fox, Hillary Duff, and various Kardashians will present. An insane number of categories include some hilariously anti-teen-seeming nominess (American Hustle for Best Movie: Drama?). Keep an eye out for up-and-coming talent and a finger on your remote control’s volume button to deal with a deafeningly amped-up adolecscent audience.


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National S’mores Day

(Everywhere | Aug 10 | 12:01 AM – 11:59 PM)

Graham crackers. Chocolate. Marshmallow. Fire. From these essential elements come one of humanity’s highest achievements: S’mores. Named for the (correct) notion that upon eating one you’ll instantly want “some more,” the S’more is believed to be a long-standing cookout and camping trip treat that was first formally canonized as a recipe in the 1927 Girl Scout Handbook. So hit the supermarket Sunday, whip up an open flame, and celebrate the snack’s official day with proper hot gooiness. No word exists yet on the pending status of National Gorp Day.

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