In high school, your mother was your biggest cheerleader when it came to your after school activities. She drove to your debate tournaments and baked cookies for your football team. But when you got to college, the extracurricular pickings became a bit less family-friendly. Controversial, dangerous, or just plain weird, here are eight clubs you’d probably “forget” to mention to good ole Momsy if she asked how you were getting involved on campus…
The online description of this Scottish university’s anarchist society sounds pretty innocuous: “a non-hierarchical society of equals…” Hey, that’s not so bad! Your mom–who was born during the second Red Scare–does not agree.
Founded in 2002, the Squirrel Club has the singular purpose of feeding campus squirrels on Sunday afternoons. It’s not that Mom would disapprove, necessarily, but it might be difficult for her to understand. Shouldn’t you be in the library, sweetheart?
No, this is not a club where you merely discuss or debate the merits of explosives. According to the ISEE website, these kids actually blow things up. “But it’s for science,” you assure your horrified mom. As though that will help her sleep again, ever.
Mom’s been dreaming of the day when she can graciously pass on the family diamond since you were in diapers. So you know she’s really going to be tolerant and understanding of all your new polyamorous friends. This one’s just been announced, though, so you can take some time to figure out how give her the bad news.
No mother ever sent their child off to college hoping that he would come back a skinhead. This group seems to be more or less a training academy for such purposes. How does it even exist?
Well, you’ve always been the–um, oddest of your siblings. But even your mom, who wears jeans with at least a foot of extra fabric in the seat, would cringe if you told her you’re wearing a clown nose around campus. As long as you’re making friends?
All politics aside, joining this group seems akin to wearing a Reagan/Bush ’84 bro tank to Burning Man. You might feel like a martyr of conservatism, but the fundamental irony of this club would probably cause your mom to be concerned about your choice of university–if not your possible ostracism and/or physical safety. Yes, we’re daring to suggest that Berkeley might not be particularly tolerant of everybody, and Mom would worry.
This is not only a student society dedicated to BDSM sex, but it’s the oldest in the country. It’s basically the Phi Beta Kappa of kink. Something tells us the prestige just won’t be enough to make this a pleasant topic of conversation at the Thanksgiving table.
Join your fellow Pagans in tarot-reading, incense-making, and energy-healing. Oh, and forfeiting the belief system that gives your mother’s life meaning. Now you know who she’ll be praying for next Sunday.
What you imagine: an opportunity to live out your Chuck Palahniuk fantasies. What your mother hears: the sound of her precious baby’s nose fracturing under a boxing mitt. And don’t be fooled by how this link takes you to a Facebook page for a supposedly “disbanded” club. Everyone knows the first rule of a fight club.