Police Arrest Man for Stabbing a Watermelon, Which Makes Sense

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watermelons

A Connecticut man faces charges of threatening and disorderly conduct for stabbing a watermelon with a knife–an action that police claim was meant to send a threatening message.

Police in Bantam, Connecticut arrested Carmine Cervellino for stabbing the watermelon and leaving it in the home of an unidentified woman for her to find as a “passive aggressive” warning about what might happen to her. This strange story started when the woman first went to police claiming she found a baggie containing some drugs that had her name on it hidden in Cervellino’s toolbox. The baggie contained some marijuana and a bottle of Percocet with “an unidentified bill pill inside” of it. She hid them in a closet and took pictures of them to give to police. Sometime later, the baggie had been removed from her closet. Following her second visit to the police department, she discovered the stabbed watermelon in her kitchen. She told police Cervellino stuck a large butcher knife in the top of the watermelon. He walked in the room without saying a word and starting slicing up the melon in front of her. She took a picture of the knife and gave it to police before they arrested him.

Police charged him with threatening and disorderly conduct solely for the watermelon incident. So far, he is not facing any drug related charges. He was released on a $500 bond presumably because arraignment courts don’t view produce as true victims in modern society. Hell, if assaulting a watermelon with a knife is a crime, then that makes Gallagher a modern day Adolph Hitler.

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