Women don’t really need to do tricks with their boobs for men to notice them, but we certainly can appreciate the effort. That’s why we pulled together a collection of our ten favorite SFW things women can do with boobs. They really are magical entities.
If you came here for tricks that Kate Upon specifically can accomplish, then we suggest heading over to CollegeCandy.
1. Judo Smashing
Crushing the cans is one thing but you’re lying to yourself if you’re not at least a little bit impressed that she just one-timed those planks with her boobs.
2. Hitomi Tanaka Demonstrating “Physics”
Let’s all pretend like we don’t know who Hitomi Tanaka is and just say that she’s a physics professor at some school. Wait, I think she’s played that role too.
One thing I’m confused about though is why she takes so long to realize that she got the object in her mouth. It seems to take a full second before she realizes she was successful.
3. Beat Matching
It takes a few moments to get to the actual trick (don’t worry, you’re still looking at boobs during the “lull”), but once you’re there you’ll be absolutely enthralled. Kind of mind-boggling that more DJs aren’t using this for their visual effects.
The female host of Thailand’s Got Talent could not be any less amused by this woman painting a crappy work of art with her boobs, but that doesn’t mean we agree with her. Art is all about interpretation or something, right?
5. Took Took, Took Took
I have no words. This isn’t really a trick as much as it is enthralling but we included it here because we can’t stop watching.
Stop adjusting your shirt!
7. Rising Up And Down
Very similar to the woman in the video above, except that this woman can move her boobs vertically, not just horizontally.
8. Doing Your Lipstick
Whenever my girlfriend tells me that she’s doing her makeup in the bathroom, I now choose to believe that this is how she’s doing it–lipstick, eyeliner, everything. At least that would explain why the sink looks like an absolute mess when she’s done.
9. Making Fart Noises
This trick is straight out of the wet dreams of an 8-year-old boy. Boobs and fart noises. The only thing more exciting is a buy one, get one free deal of Mountain Dew or something.
10. Hulk Hogan-ing
Out of all the boob tricks that we’ve listed here, this is probably the one that would be most effective at parties. Some woman’s trying to get up on your man? Boom, bust ‘em out. Plus it leaves you free to hand the guy a drink or two.