Captain America Isn’t Number One in This “ADHD” Video [VIDEO]

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captain america

A new cartoon short from FOX’s Animation Domination series shows some of the ways that Captain America isn’t all that amazing.

The video is a parody of the opening song for the Captain America cartoon that ran in the late 60s on kids’ TV screens as they shoveled endless bowls of sugary cereal into their system. In an interesting twist, that might explain a few of the depressing statistics created in this slightly anti-American video. Instead of showing just how star-spangled awesome Captain America is as he punches the Red Menace squarely in the face, the merry tune lists examples of how Captain America and his homeland have let themselves go and lag behind the rest of the world in areas such as literacy, morbid obesity, infant mortality and math skills.

Those things wouldn’t be funny in any other context and we’d love it if the next Captain America movie could somehow work this theme song into the soundtrack…

We’re also sure that it’s no coincidence that FOX decided to release this morbid little gem just a few days before the Fourth of July. We’re kind of glad they did in a way. We were already planning on stuffing our already wide faces with as many hot dogs and slices of apple pie that our cheeks could physically contain–but now that we know we rank 42nd in life expectancy and 18th in the world in fatness, we’ll probably just stick with a small salad and a diet soda and look forward to watching fireworks instead. You know, for America.

And speaking of America, let’s enjoy some classic Captain America from the good old days…

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