Tijuana, Mexico. Spring break destination for anyone looking to score some cheap drugs and cheap hookers, contract an std, and get it cleared up thanks to cheap and readily available health care. It’s also home to “La Mona,” a five-story tall naked woman that was once the residence of the man who designed and built it all himself.
Armando Garcia dreamed a gloriously smutty dream for a tribute to Tijuana on its centennial celebration in 1989. Two years prior, he proposed a large naked female sculpture which he would build and place in the center of town for all to see. When the government turned his generous offer down flat, he didn’t let that squash his dreams. In a Cinderella story right out of the back pages of Penthouse Magazine, Garcia pressed on, building the sculpture in his run-down neighborhood known as Colonia Aeropuerto, which loosely translated means “great place to build a large naked woman statue.” Or not, my Spanish is a little rusty.
Finally completed in 1991, and based on an ex-girlfriend of Garcia’s, the statue known to locals as “La Mona” was finally completed. Yes, you read that right, he sculpted it based on an ex-girlfriend, but the best part is, he then moved into it with his wife. Tijuana, where the morals are loose and the judgment calls looser. He and his wife slept inside his ex-girlfriend’s breasts, cooked meals together in her stomach, and dropped many a deuce inside her posterior.
They no longer live inside of it as the structure is not fit for habitation, but Garcia’s plans haven’t stopped there. He moved into a different self-created naked woman home in the town of Puerto Nuevo dubbed “La Sirena,” and in 2012 he opened a French restaurant inside Sirena’s stomach. No word on whether his marriage to his wife survived this second construction, or which of his former lovers the designs were based on. He also plans to build a series of “giant, nude Amazons” along the Mexican/American border. Armando Garcia, we salute you. Your dreams aren’t short on ambition or lunacy.