Gatorade’s newest commercial–which stars the Washington National’s Bryce Harper–does not look like a refreshing way to replenish your electrolytes. It looks like a hellish landscape from a bloody horror movie.
It features Harper stepping up to the plate in what appears to be a minimal artist’s view of a baseball diamond, and he’s bleeding Gatorade. That’s a literal statement. Either his body is rejecting the stuff, or it has too much of it because this liquid is gushing out of every pore on his body as it leaves a red liquid trail behind him. We understand that Gatorade is trying to show just how their sports drink powers athletes. It just seems that Gatorade has forgotten that blood is red and you don’t want to see red stuff pouring out of your body.
From there, things get kind of weird. If the following makes you really thirsty–well, we suggest that you seek counseling immediately…
The whole thing mainly reminds us that it’s been a while since David Lynch has directed a real horror movie. Just imagine if that commercial had run a little longer. We might have seen images of snake-like bats oozing venom, along with hot dog vendors serving up franks while producing their own “ketchup” out of assorted orifices. Yeah, we’re sorry that we even mentioned that last one.