Say Hello To The “Nerdy Bandit” Who’s Now Been Arrested

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Say Hello to Thaddeus Lindsay Woods, a 31-year-old man in Portland, Oregon who police called “the Nerdy Bandit.” He was taken into custody last Friday morning. Police said Woods copped the “Nerdy Bandit” nickname because witnesses described him as “nerdyish” and wearing black-rimmed glasses during robberies at three trendy Portland clothing stores. This dude was described as nerdy at three different robberies and this is in Portland where everyone wears black-rimmed glasses and kind of looks like a nerd. That’s harsh, bro.

What were the places that the bandit hit, you ask? Banks? Gas stations? Try again. On October 4, he robbed an American Apparel, then one week later he tried to rob another American Apparel but ended up running away without any money and then the third and final robbery was at an Urban Outfitters. This time he had a gun and he ended up getting away with some cash. In each account of the robberies, the bandit was described as a white male, skinny build, brown hair, nerdyish, yellow teeth and wearing a hat with black rimmed glasses. Yellow teeth? Perhaps the bandit should have been robbing the local dentist instead.

Well, we can now rest easy as the bandit faces charges of first-degree and second-degree robbery. We’re guessing he’s not going to be hitting the local hipster stores anymore…

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