When Silicon Valley premiered on HBO this Sunday, we were instantly huge fans of what’s been described perfectly as the nerdy version of Entourage. America seemed to agree with us, too–or at least enough Americans for Silicon Valley to score some great numbers for HBO. We’re also thinking that we’re a lot like typical Americans in that we love Silicon Valley because we’re falling out of love with Silicon Valley as a place. There’s a reason that it’s fun to watch the would-be tech giants of Silicon Valley stumble around–and that’s courtesy of some really annoying things about Silicon Valley…
1. It’s the kind of place where people turn down $3 billion offers for their app
In case you missed it., Snapchat creators turned down $3 billion
for their app. 3. Billion. Dollars.
2. Everyone is backstabbing everyone
Did you never see The Social Network
? Do you not realize how much backstabbing goes on in the tech world? Yeah, like that, but more.
3. Sean Parker once said, “A million dollars isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? A billion dollars”
4. Mark Zuckerberg might be (and is definitely) trying to take over the world
5. It’s a place where no one pretends they like money, but everyone does
Everyone’s in it to make the world a better place and “won’t sell out”–until the billions come, of course, but it better be more than $3 billion…
6. Nerds are dating girls like Taylor Swift
The Snapchat CEO was dating
pop star Taylor Swift. Actors, rockstars, and now this dude?
7. Investors into start-ups are constantly getting screwed
Clinkle is yet another example of Investors being screwed
by young cocky dudes.
8. Seriously–how much blackmailing can you do?
Everybody’s on everybody’s back. OKCupid was not
gonna let Mozilla slide–but think of all the personal info that company has on all of us.
9. Because they’re the only people who can take a product we love and make us hate it
We were hyped about the Oculus Rift games…but now they’re going to be crammed full of ads. Thanks again, Zuckerberg.
10. Because we’re jealous
Yeah, we wish we were rich as hell, too. Bastards.