Jermaine Jones, our hero of the moment, was charged with disorderly conduct and being under the influence of a controlled substance. But what really matters is that he was naked and riding a tricycle at the time of arrest. Ain’t America grand?
Jones, 31, was arrested after Lakewood police officers found the nude man chewing glass and tobacco under a stairwell in the Ocean County complex on Tuesday, the Ocean Signal reported. Isn’t this a part of any balanced diet?
Jones, who’s from Trenton, was taken to the Kimball Medical Center to be treated for cuts to his mouth. Obviously the whole glass-as-a-healthy-snack thing went against his favor. Jones was booked on charges after telling the cops that he was high on cocaine. We’re just assuming that’s really a reference to the cocaine derivative known as “crack,” but it’s a fair guess.
Now does anyone have video of people watching a fully-grown naked man riding a tricycle? Not to say we would have wanted to see a fully grown naked man riding a tricycle. We’re guessing that the reaction footage would be priceless.