Oscars, 2014: Breast of the Academy Awards Red Carpet [PHOTOS]

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The worst thing about the red carpet coverage at the 2014 Academy Awards was when Jimmy Kimmel interrupted the Oscar fawning in a bad sketch that made fun of uncool normal people reduced to sitting at home and watching the red carpet coverage at the 2014 Academy Awards. Besides the general idiocy, it was just painful to see the former host of The Man Show ridiculing normal Americans for not having fashion sense.

As men here, though, we’re very happy to work our fashion sense on the 2014 Academy Awards red carpet. That means we’ve chosen the sexiest outfits. Our more feminine side is impressed at how nominee Lupita Nyong’o managed to come up with a very sexy dress that still looked pretty elegant, but totally classic. Seems she designed it with Prada, too. Otherwise, our more masculine side is still ogling the likes of Emma Watson, Charlize Theron, Jessica Biel, Ireland Baldwin, and more.

Also check out Nancy O’Dell beautifying the red carpet from the side of the press corps. Furthermore, we really like the idea of Portia de Rossi’s revealing outfit leading to some serious lesbian lovemaking when she gets back home with her wife Ellen DeGeneres. We’re also pleasantly surprised at how good Kristin Chenoweth  is looking. She’s given us the creeps before–but that’s just us. Choose your own Academy Awards red carpet winner below…

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