Police arrested Conrad Hopper following a very strange incident down in (where else?!?) Florida. First, Hopper barged into a neighbor’s home in suburban Lake Worth completely intoxicated and rambling incoherent gibberish. Suddenly, he started ripping off his clothes and shouting “nonsensical statements of random numbers.” Police arrived on the scene not soon after and that caused Hopper to start running around the house in a “menacing manner” breaking random objects.
He dashed out the back door with “a large piece of metal and an unknown object” where police met him with their guns drawn. Fearing that he might have a deadly weapon, they ordered him to get on the ground and even sicked a police dog to subdue him but he actually managed to fight off the dog. It took a total of four deputies, an untold number of firefighters and a less-lethal device to get him in handcuffs and in the back of a squad car. Police later learned the unidentified object was actually a clock. He faces a number of charges including four counts of battery on a police officer for injuring four of his arresting officers.
The story doesn’t specify how much he had to drink or even how intoxicated he was at the time of the incident but we’re pretty sure that “totally f#*$ed up” would be an accurate measurement, even by law enforcement’s rigorous standards.