A burglar in Brazil broke into a shopping mall and had sex with one of the store mannequins. What’s worse is one of the store’s security cameras recorded his little plastic indiscretion. Now it’s all over the Internet for the rest of the world to cringe at. Or maybe enjoy. We will not judge.
According to The Mirror, the unidentified suspect broke into the shopping mall at night in order to steal “a variety of discount value clothes” until a certain, alluring mannequin caught his eye, which is even more impressive since it doesn’t have a head. He put a T-shirt over his head presumably to hide his face, stripped down to his skin and starts getting into it with the headless dummy. We’d rather not describe the order of events from here because we’re sure it’s going to make it reappear in a future nightmare or a therapy session. So at this point, we’ll just let the video footage speak for itself. The offending “naughty parts” have been blurred out but it’s probably still a little NSFW in less progressive work environments.
Police caught the suspect after he returned to the store presumably so he could return the items he stole for money (or the dummy didn’t give him a number to call the next morning). He told his arresting officers that he broke into the store and got freaky with the mannequin because he had “nothing else to do.” Hey, we’ve all been there but most of us have managed to come up with a more constructive use for our time than have sex with a store dummy.