Oregon Couple Tips Waitress In Crystal Meth Because It’s Oregon

By Edit Posted in News-ish

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A couple in Oregontried to tip a waitress at a restaurant with a big, fat envelope filled with methamphetamine, according to The Oregonian. Which ranks them them way up there as stupid criminals–especially considering that the economy hasn’t quite tanked to the point where it’s at the “Let’s Replace Currency With Narcotics” level.  [Image via The Oregonian/Clatsop County Jail]

Ryan Bensen and Erica Manley are both facing possession and manufacture charges after pulling their little stunt at a seaside steakhouse last Thursday. The couple enjoyed a lovely meal together, knocked back a couple of post-dinner aperitifs and asked their waitress for their check. Apparently, they didn’t have enough money to settle the entire bill and leave a tip because they used a gift card to pay for the tab but they left a large envelope underneath it filled with crystal meth. It was either what they deemed to be a generous tip for a job well done or a not-so-subtle hint that their waitress needed something to help her move a little faster with their Surf and Turf platters.

The waitress didn’t get either message because she “calmly walked away and called the Police Department,” according to the news report. A local police chief called the couple “dumb” and admitted that “the whole thing almost made me chuckle.” These two deserve the biggest “What were you thinking?” lecture of 2014. Either they thought that all waitresses must do crystal meth in order to get through their mind numbing jobs or they were so tweaked out on the stuff themselves that they weren’t thinking straight. At least it’s not one of those rude tips we’ve been seeing where the customer writes the reason they refuse to tip their serves on the receipt instead of prying open their wallets and just leaving a couple of bucks. Crystal meth is actually a big step up from that for this rude society, so (in a weird sort of way) well done.

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