Noah easily made our list of the Most Anticipated Movies of 2014, and we’re standing behind that–but the new Japanese trailer is pretty baffling. The movie should actually be a natural as a Japanese trailer. Noah certainly seems to have the epic look of an Akira Kurosawa movie. (That’s always a good name to drop if you want to show off some critical insight.) We can’t help but be wiseacres when it comes to a few of these images, though.
For example, when did Noah get the power to strike his magic staff down and create a wall of fire? That’s what’s happening, right? It looks like an outtake from Man of Steel. Or maybe a Thor movie–especially with Anthony Hopkins showing up in the movie as Methuselah. That legendary old guy looks straight out of a kung-fu film, too.
And what about the epic shot of a raindrop falling out of the sky and directly on Russell Crowe’s noggin? We think it’s a raindrop. But we’re not sure, because there’s also a shot of all these birds swirling around Noah’s Ark. It could just be that Noah is looking up at the sky at the wrong time. Ha! A little comic relief couldn’t hurt a Biblical epic, you know.
And what do the birds care about Noah’s Ark, anyway? They should be the last creatures to give that boat a second thought. Hey, watch for the scene that suggests Noah gets a last laugh at a few naysayers who’ll get swept away when the flood comes, too. That should be satisfying. Anyway, you can see all this for yourself below. Maybe you’ll find it all less amusing than we do. How very mature of you…