Jenna Jameson Needs A Home: Won’t You Take Her In?

By Edit Posted in Girls

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It was back in mid-August that the folks at Radar Online had a very hot story with one of the greatest blind headlines of all time: “Superstar Actress Rocked By Secret Drug Overdose Video.” Something like that–with the article saying right away that “Radar has chosen not to identity the superstar”–is a great way to fuel some serious speculation. In fact, that headline got the article posted to the top internet website DrudgeReport. We can’t think of the last time that a blind item has had that honor.

And then there was plenty of speculation over the identity of the superstar actress. Radar didn’t provide much in the way of clues. They reported that the video was leaked by a former assistant as part of  the actress’ ”bitter child custody case”–and added that the superstar was allegedly overdosing “on a potentially lethal cocktail of Xanax, Vicodin and Ambien, which she knocked back with up to eight bottles of top-shelf Dom Pérignon champagne.”

Also, Radar revealed that the actress has a mother that died young, and that her estranged former partner is male. That narrowed it down a little. We ruled out COED favorties like Halle Berry and Courtney Cox. In fact, we decided pretty quickly that Radar was kind of cheating by not specifying that the “superstar actress” was, in fact, a superstar porn actress.

We certainly consider Jenna Jameson to be a superstar. She had been in the news recently in a divorce case that seemed to fit the Radar hype. There was a disgruntled personal assistant in her past. And now TMZ is reporting that Jenna Jameson has lost her Hollywood Hills mansion after defaulting on the mortgage payments. That convinces us more than ever that we went with the right choice on Radar Online’s blind item. We’re not saying that we were absolutely correct, of course. Nope. Not saying that at all.

What we are saying, though, is that Jenna Jameson needs a home. O, who will take in Jenna Jameson? We’re just asking you to look in your heart and look at these pics and tell us if you can find a place for Jenna. If so, then please contact God by vigorously praying that Jenna Jameson’s U-Haul breaks down in front of your place…

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