Scarlett Johansson has been named Esquire magazine‘s Sexiest Woman Alive, and we would like to congratulate her. We would really, really like to congratulate her. With lots of hugs and kisses. Man, we’d congratulate Scarlett Johansson so hard that she’d be worshiping a whole new God of Thunder, if you know what we mean. Yeah. We’re using the word “congratulate” as a euphemism.
Anyway, the fact remains that Scarlett Johansson is officially the Sexiest Woman Alive, because Esquire has that kind of clout. “But,” you ask, “what of Mila Kunis?” Yes, she was the Sexiest Woman Alive last year. Maybe she seems a little bit less sexy now because she’s dating Ashton Kutcher. People didn’t really know about that when Mila got the honor last year. It might be more fair to say that Mila seems less sexy because she’s dating Ashton Kutcher instead of us. Scarlett just got engaged, but it’s not to Ashton Kutcher, so that’s cool.
Nobody’s really going to argue over Esquire going with Scarlett, though. It’s actually really good timing. Scarlett is coming off a really strong performance in Jon Don as an irritating gal. She gives a really great performance. You actually believe that Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s character would break up with her for any reason short of homicidal impulses. Scarlett should go ahead and clear off some Oscar space on the mantle.
So we heartily endorse Esquire‘s choice of their Sexiest Woman Alive–and we’re happy to provide plenty of examples for why every red-blooded male should agree. You might want to ponder our collection of the 40 Sexiest Scarlett Johansson GIFs. Take a look at Scarlett’s inventive use of the handbra in some tantalizing topless photos. We’ll also lead you to some shots of Scarlett swimming naked in the otherwise-forgettable He’s Just Not That Into You.
Or you can just get into the gallery below, which has an amazing selection of Scarlett Johansson at her absolute sexiest. And if you want to do some comparing, then you should check out the amazing photos that we put together to congratulate Mila Kunis last year. Yeah, we congratulated MIla. We congratulated her so hard…