Couple Gets Perfect Note From Neighbor After Night Of Loud Sex

Men beware: If you get it on like animals in the zoo with your mate and are inconsiderate of your neighbors, you may be labeled a wife beater. Example A:


Well played, neighbor. Well played indeed. The only disturbing issue that arises from this, other than the fact there is no audio of the jungle lady having sex which is so desperately required, is the fact that you seem delighted to teach your children about domestic violence rather than the birds and the bees. Kind of creepy if you think about it. Nevertheless, do humanity a favor and record the noises next time and let the world be the judge to if it can even sound like a woman being lit up. It’s the least you can do for the Internet that has provided so much and has asked for so little in return.

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  1. naja says:

    lol what<img src="; width="1">

  2. Dan says:

    Way to teach your kids how not to call police for help when a neighbor is being "beaten", Correct, they should have taught the kids a little about the birds, bees, and the human animal. :)

  3. Karma Grant says:

    And now when the kids hear mom and dad doing the same they are going to think dad is beating the crap out of their mom and it's ok. Fantastic. Idiot.

    1. Sue says:

      LOL Touche! What a dirt bag old BI*** this mother is

  4. miche says:

    What passive aggressive nonsense. Why do you consider this a "perfect letter"? A funny, witty neighbor could have done something like leave packets of lube and note saying it seems like your girlfriend could use this. A creative person something . . . well, creative! This letter just dumb.
    Want to solve your noise problem – ask them to please keep it down. Knock on the door, bang on the drain pipe – whether sex noises or music too loud, teach your kids how to live with others respectfully. Maybe the happy couple had no idea how loud they were being.
    What a great lesson – your neighbor is being beaten, but your parent is not going to help or call the cops. Hope the kids grow up to be better neighbors than their parents.

  5. johnb says:

    The children perceived it merely as noise, which can be explained away in a number of ways, including telling them about sex. She can also say it isn't usually this loud. But this neighbor had another agenda, I believe. She wanted to scold them for making love so that she can hear it. She hoped to embarrass them. This is the ultimate in passive aggressiveness – taking the kids out, leaving a note, pretending the noise would do the children some kind of psychological harm. Could she not merely called them up or knock on the door, if the noise was too loud for her to do whatvere she was doing. Back in the day, you banged broom handle on the ceiling.

    1. naoma says:

      Our daughter knew the "facts" of life at a very early age — but she did not disclose them to her little friends because their parents probably were not as broad minded as we were. Once she came in after being told (she was about 3) by a friend that: "My Mommy is having a baby and it is in her tummy." Daughter was quite irate and said: "She knows nothing of the womb." She was always told the truth — regardless of the question.

    2. DynaMike says:

      DYING!!! She's probably a power hungry, single white mom who secretly gets off on hearing her downstairs neighbors….

  6. Barnaby Sidebottoms says:

    lol but I bet they were hoes though

  7. tumblrbot says:

    hitlers breast milk

  8. Bartleby says:

    So…. it's okay to tell the kids about violence, but not sex?

    What's supposed to be "perfect" about that?

  9. Ma'amToYou says:

    Why couldn't you say your neighbor was watching a loud movie? You DID NOT have to say your neighbor was beating his wife….and it is really sad that you would rather explain violence and do nothing about it than teach your kids the truth. If you can't handle the real world, move out of it. So now they think your neighbor is a violent jerk and that you don't care enough to do anything about it other than leave. When they are older they are either going to wonder why you lied to them or why you didn't do anything about the guy who you heard beating his wife. You don't deserve children if you are embarrassed of how they are made. And why, pray tell, did the writer think this was a GOOD solution?

  10. automagdon says:

    Telling your kids the neighbor is pulling an "OJ" on his girl isn't a great idea.

    1. Sutekh says:

      This is why the housing industry is doing so poorly. Women used to explain to their husbands (remember those?) that they would be more inhibited in the bedroom if the couple had their own separate dwelling, instead of living in a beehive.

    2. Guest201310 says:

      "Hey, kids, that is domestic violence. A woman is being hurt so badly that we can hear it from up here. Let's sit here and not call 911 or do anything to help the victim."
      Yeah, great lesson to teach your children.

  11. Thom says:

    He could have told her that it was an assault with a friendly weapon.

  12. Candide33 says:

    This is why I don't live in an apartment

  13. Padraig_e says:

    So the neighbour informed the couple that (s)he preferred to damage her children with false tales of violence instead of the truth about love between a man and a woman. I feel sorry for that neighbour and not because of the loud sex happening next door, but because her view of what is safe for children is so warped.

    1. Don't mess with kids says:

      And you really believe that teaching a child that LOVE between a man and a woman is wild sex? Now that's just as messed up. Besides, the first lesson about the birds and bees should not start with an exceptionally loud sample of the noises accompanying the act. On the hand pairing the noise that the child we soon grow up to recognize with the negative notion of violence was probably worse than saying nothing.

  14. guest says:

    Terrible. Disturbing your neighbors is wrong, but that was the only thing wrong they did. Maybe the should go to a club and do their thing, but if they are both consenting adults, how is this wrong? This is improper to share with a child. THAT was wrong.

  15. Naomi says:

    I can't stand loud girls. It's like OK Ms. Drama Queen… we know you're getting LAID.

  16. Carmen says:

    I stayed at a bed and breakfast with my brother of all people one time when the neighbors were having rough sex for hours; at least I didn't have to listen to it once I got home but being in the same room with my brother the whole time it was happening made things quite awkward. Of course we laughed about it and tried to ignore it but it was like the couple was trying to go out of their way to be super noisy, which was annoying.

  17. ThinkFirst says:

    So, this lady taught her children that if someone is beating their spouse /significant other that you should look the other way and do nothing.

    Perfect note????? I say terrible parenting!!!!

    1. Jay says:

      I was thinking, similarly, that this mother would rather teach her children that wife-beating is more normal than a couple engaging in legal sexual activity?

      She couldn't merely explain that they were roughhousing or playing roughly with each other, just like children sometimes do?

      Where's Dr. Spock when you need him?

  18. says:

    Opened herself up for a lawsuit knowingly accusing someone falsely of a serious felony…nothing "Perfect" about this!

    1. ChrisO says:

      I was going to say the same thing. Is it really that big of a deal that some couple was having sex? And they chose to explain domestic violence to their kids, but not sex… priorities…

  19. dayglo says:


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