Her last single was “Here’s To Never Growing Up,” but Avril Lavigne can’t help growing older. That’s okay with us. The corporate punk/pop diva is still maintaining her look as the Suicide Girl Next Door. We know that we just goofed on Avril in our “20 Things You Didn’t Know About Metallica” feature, and that was fair. Avril’s never really been cool outside of the tween demographic. Now she’s rushing back to pop after last year’s Goodbye Lullaby couldn’t turn her into a serious artist. P!nk did the same thing. Maybe things will work out for Avril when her new self-titled album drops this November.
Meanwhile, other things shriveled as Avril married fellow Canadian Chad Kroeger of Nickleback amongst lots of talk about babies and settling down. Before that, she was dating Brody Jenner, and was briefly married to some guy from Sum 41. None of those relationships did much for the Avril Lavigne brand as a credible alt-gal. Well, she always did say that she grew up as a big fan of Shania Twain and Matchbox Twenty. It was also pretty funny when Avril dismissed the Sex Pistols as unknowns while trying to promote herself as a punky young voice. Her stylists must’ve ran out to buy those Ramones shirts that Avril used to wear.
Avril was still a sexy gal for many years, sporting raccoon eyes courtesy of makeup instead of heroin. (We really do believe Avril when she says that she’s “100% against drugs.”) So as Avril sk8s on to being 30 years old, let’s celebrate youth by celebrating Avril at her most slutty. Or, you know, vibrant. Remember when it used to look like a feminist statement when Avril refused to dress overly sexy? You would have never seen her swinging naked on a wrecking ball–although her management must be giving the idea some serious thought for that new album. Anyway, it turns out that Avril was really just saving herself for a member of Nickleback. Now enjoy a Top 40 of hot pics from the gal who once wanted to be our girlfriend. Yeah. “Girlfriend” was a promising start, and lawyers for The Rubinoos agreed….