8 Tips to Land the Perfect Summer Fling
Summer’s here meaning everyone will be literally hot under the collar, meaning everyone will be wearing fewer clothes, meaning everyone will be figuratively hot under the collar, meaning you need to step your game up and find a fling to cool you down.
Before we begin, let’s make sure we know what we’re getting into here: the fabled summer fling. By definition, it’s a short, seasonal tryst meant to be fun and fancy free, without all the trappings of a real relationship. As long as you set a few guidelines for yourself and the fling, you can experience summer the way it was intended: through a haze of random and indiscriminate sex.
Follow these 8 tips to land the perfect summer fling!
Pick Someone You Wouldn’t Normally Go For
Choose a friend of a friend, or a stranger at the beach. This is a fling, you’re not looking for someone respectable or upstanding. Where’s the fun in that? Save that shit for the fall when you start putting on your winter hibernation weight and need someone to tolerate the sad sack of man you’ll inevitably become. But for now, it’s warm, you can fit into your good pants and the world is your oyster. Grab yourself a pearl — or a couple, this doesn’t have to be exclusive — that knows how to have a good time. The key is finding someone with just the right amount of crazy. Try to land somewhere between Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct and Sharon Stone in real life.
Set a Deadline
Look, this isn’t going to work if either of you get attached. Part of the joy of being young is running around with your pants around your ankles because you’re head’s up your ass. Carpe diem, kids. But just make sure that diem has an expiration date. And stick to it. From Memorial Day to Labor Day is fair game, but there is a moratorium on all flinging during the rest of the year. Is a drunken hook-up after a late-night “U up?” out of the question? Probably not. But don’t make a habit out of it. It’s not a summer fling if you’re still shacking up around the holidays.
The more you two can mutually agree upon the transiency of your time together, the better. Avoid all relationshippy, “where is this going?” talk, but don’t lead her on with promises of this being something more than what it already is. Chances are she wants the same thing you want: uncomplicated fun that doesn’t end in a pregnancy scare.
Don’t Leave a Trail
In this day and age of the Facebooks and the Twitters and the Instagrams, it’s hard to deny the urge to document and share every aspect of your life. Just this once, though, you might want to keep things….what’s that word Facebook’s always using? Oh yeah, “private.” This is especially true if one or both of you has other flings to consider. Or if either of you is sleeping around on a more significant other, which we neither condone nor encourage, but hey if you do, show a little respect.
Never Introduce Your Fling to Your Friends
It sets an unwanted precedent. Do you want to meet her friends next? If so, are you going to end up sleeping with them too? ‘Cause that’s just asking for trouble. Are your friends going to end up stealing your fling right from under you, or wherever she might be at the moment? Connections lead to commitment. The fewer connections you two have to each others’ lives, the easier it’ll be to avoid commitment, which is the ultimate enemy here.
Do It in Memorable Places
It’s summer, shit’s in bloom, nature’s everywhere, so take your sexin’ out of doors and into unique places. Make it special. That way, when you walk by that playground swing, or that park bench, or that bathroom at Friendly’s, you’ll have a tantalizing tinge of memory. Sort of like the hitman who gets a boner after driving by where a body’s buried.
Use, Don’t Abuse, Your Power
The woman is in charge of setting the boundaries of the fling, and it’s up to you to respect those boundaries. That being said, you don’t want to relinquish all your power, or she might as well start leaving twenties on the nightstand. If you text her and she doesn’t text back, don’t keep texting her. It makes you seem eager and just a little desperate. This is where having more than one fling at a time comes in handy. Spread your love and attention around.
End on a Positive Note
Make sure you end as friends. Call, don’t text, and give her a small token of your esteem. Something inconspicuous she could’ve gotten from anywhere, from anyone, but that will immediately remind her of you. And we’re not talking herpes.