Florida is as efficient at producing weird news stories for the public’s consumption as McDonalds’ ability to produce diabetes inducing sandwiches for its customers.
The state’s craziest of its crazy are so good at attracting the media’s ever waining attention span that the online media behemoth Fark has a special section dedicated just to the news that crawls across its phallic shaped border. Florida’s latest bit of frantic news doesn’t disappoint.
Sheriff’s deputies in Pineallas County tried to arrest 20-year-old Bryan Zuniga who fled the scene of a traffic stop by ducking through a vinyl fence. Authorities thought he had gotten away but a local hospital reported they were treating a man who had been attacked by an alligator and the victim’s identity matched that of the fleeing suspect.
This means that Florida’s alligators could be the next trend in effective crime fighting. We could use them to stop bad guys by letting these massive reptiles (literally) take a bit out of crime. Someone should send this story to Wayne LaPierre at the NRA. Apparently, you don’t need a “good guy with a gun” to stop a “bad guy with a gun.” You can also use a “good alligator with a healthy appetite.”