Dante Stallworth, Man Who Actually Killed Someone, Recalls That One Time He Only ‘Thought’ He Was Dead

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I’m not sure how I missed this story originally, but this headline in today’s Daily Mail (we keeps it classy) is hilarious to me:

” ‘I literally thought I was dead': NFL wide receiver Donté Stallworth reveals his terror during the hot air balloon crash that left him and his girlfriend covered in burns. “

You can read that full story here, I just wanted to take some time from my day and use this headline to point out that Dante Stallworth is a real POS.

“I literally thought I was dead.” Hey Dante, remember that guy Mario Reyes? I wonder if he had any time to wonder if he was “literally” dead or not.

Dante, keep your f*cking head down, try not to get injured, and thank someone up above that you only served 30 days in jail for manslaughter. Do not expect us to feel sorry when your dumb ass gets into a tragic hot air balloon accident–especially when you’re quoted as saying “This situation has made me realize that life is short.”

It’s a shame that you didn’t first realize life was short when you murdered someone.

And don’t anybody try to tell me that he paid his penance. This motherf*cker spent 30 days in jail for manslaughter and now expects us to completely forget that. It’s a complete and total sham that the NFL didn’t ban this guy from ever playing the game again.

Now you know how I really feel.

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