Comedian Carrie Snow once remarked “If God were a woman, sperm would taste like chocolate.” As brilliant as that divine assessment is, it’s nowhere near as genius as the latest innovation in flavored prophylactics.
J&D’s, the Nobel Prize worthy inventors of bacon salt and bacon lip balm, are now selling their most brilliant bacon creation to date: the bacon condom!
These pork protectors don’t just taste like bacon, which normally would be enough. They are also smothered in the company’s signature bacon flavored lube and each strip actually looks like a strip of bacon. So now if the promise of being able to taste bacon isn’t enough to “seal the deal,” you could convince her that she can finally enjoy some tasty bacon without it going to HER thighs (insert rimshot here).
If you’re looking to get a pack of rasher rubbers, you’re too late. J&D’s condoms went up on the site earlier today and as of this afternoon, they are officially “out of stock.” They actually have a waiting list until they can meet their consumers’ carnivorous condom demand. They should have waited for the Passover rush to pass.