If you’re anything like me (may God have mercy on your soul), then your high school prom often comes up in self-effacing punchlines and double therapy sessions. The girl who agreed to go with me in high school later gave me my first big heartbreak in my life and while it hurt for awhile, it also taught me a hard lesson and grew a hard callous around my heart that made me tougher as a man and lonelier as a small boy trapped in a man’s body.
Of course, back then (it’s none of your business when that was) we didn’t have an Internet powerful enough to support a site like YouTube that can collect and store every video ever made. If we did, I definitely would have posted a video inviting supermodel and super babe Kate Upton to my prom since there would be a 100 percent guarantee that the evening would end without any sexual gratification as opposed to just a 75 percent probability with a chance of heartache.
Milken Community High School senior Jake Davidson decided to take that path by asking the world’s most famous female model of the moment if she would make him the luckiest son of a bitch on Earth by accompanying him to his prom. He posted his proposal video to YouTube (seen above) earlier this week and tweeted a link to Upton’s Twitter account. Kate was so touched by Davidson’s gesture that she responded with a promise to check her schedule. She reiterated her promise during their brief appearance together on The Today Show.
So it’s not a definite yes that she’ll be there in person and if she doesn’t make it, she’ll still have given him a gift much greater than her stunning presence: the hard but important lesson that women were chemically and biologically designed to make men feel emotionally crippled. Isn’t that right, Coleen? She knows who she is.