How To Let Your Woman Know About Tomorrow’s Steak and BJ Day [HE SAID / SHE SAID]
A friendly reminder that tomorrow is Steak and Blowjob Day, a holiday that you should have already highlighted, circled, and placed a magnifying glass over. Unfortunately, though, there’s a very good chance that your lady friend doesn’t share the same passion about March 14th as you do.
So what’s a man to do? Take action, like a man should.
First off, I suggest buying a steak and letting it marinate in the fridge overnight–the less work she has to do the better. Staunch S and BJ Day supporters will no doubt boohoo this maneuver, but you need to remember that this is the 21st century. Women don’t just do things anymore. They get tired. And complainy.
Once the meat’s in the fridge, sit them down and ask them if they had a good time at Valentine’s Day. Since you’re an incredible and caring significant other, of course they’re going to respond “yes.” (If you know for a fact that they didn’t enjoy the Stripper-gram, perhaps you’ll want to skip that step.) Explain to them that it was really nothing and that you’d do anything to make her happy. Immediately afterwards, let her know that you’re excited to see what she’s got planned for you tomorrow.
Chances are, she’s not going to know what you’re talking about. This is what you want: the chance explain to her the holiday.
Start out slowly by calling it “S & BJ Day.”
“Steak and Blowjob Day, duh.”
“C’mon honey, really? Didn’t you see the steak in the fridge? I’ve got everything ready for you.”
Now’s when things get tough. You need to tell her about it in a playful manner, emphasizing that you can’t believe she’s never heard of it. The rules are simple. She cooks you a steak and then gives you a blowjob. You know better than I do how to break it to your SO, but you need to put the burden on her. Make her feel weird for not knowing about it’s existence. If you do this successfully, you’ll find that she’ll actually be excited about it.
Of course, the other option is that you could flat out tell her about it and keep your fingers crossed. Do it over a bottle of wine (or vodka depending on how much she likes you) and chances are you’ll be good.
Really though, do yourself a favor and marinate the steak.