I drink everything and anything. (I know that’s pretty much being an alcoholic, but I function well, so whatever.) Anyway, there are just certain options that no matter what, no matter who you are with, no matter how drunk you are you should just never order unless you want to lose your balls. Seriously. The prime commandment that every man should follow: Never ever let your lips touch a Cosmopolitan. Just never. If you already have, then you might as well consider yourself a baby and start from the beginning of life. Seriously.
Check out the rest of today’s six pack: