Because in addition to actual production costs, this year advertising agencies are paying CBS a record $3.8 million for 30 seconds of airtime. You think that they’d drop that kind of loot just to have some random hottie hawk their wares in front of 11 million+ people? Absolutely not. Companies are going to make sure they have your full attention by hiring the likes of Kate Upton, Ali Landry, Carmen Electra, etc.
Here are some of our favorite women we remember from Super Bowl commercials past.
Natalia Velez – Godaddy.co Body Paint
Natalia Velez is the hot Colombian girl you hire once people start getting tired of Danica Patrick. The whole “.co” phase hasn’t really stuck like Go Daddy thought it would, but you can’t say their ad campaigns have similarly bombed.
It didn’t get much hotter than Farrah Fawcett in the early 70s, but Noxzema managed to crank up the heat by putting their cream in her dainty hands. You gotta believe that Broadway Joe tried to sneak a couple smooches in between takes. If they didn’t bone, I’m calling it quits and swearing off porn for a fortnight.
Patrick’s a polarizing figure: she’s often under heavy criticism for using her looks (and not her talents on the track) to promote racing. Others think that she doesn’t really have the kind of sex appeal that warrants media attention, but she still gets our motors running. Even if we still can’t believe that she fully embraces the sex kitten approach to self-promotion.
The premise is unmistakeably based on her role as Daisy Duke in 2005′s Dukes of Hazzard movie. Some would argue that was the pop princess at her hottest. The fact she’s shoving these cheesy treats into some tween’s mouth is downright disturbing (like watching Demi Moore make out with a 15 year old). But, I’m sure the zit-riddled, metal-mouthed masses swarmed to get popped in the piehole.
This was a “winning” submission from 2009′s Crash the Super Bowl ad campaign & was featured in Super Bowl XLIII. I can’t imagine the sheer number of copycats who went out the next day obnoxiously crunching on Doritos and most likely breaking their candy-weakened teeth. Oh, and the takeaway here is if you don’t continuously eat Doritos, you’ll get hit by a bus. Der.
If there’s one thing most Super Bowl commercials have in common it’s – smoking hot girls and dumbass dudes getting crushed. I have to say Carmen’s get up is actually quite conservative, but she still makes us say ‘whoa’.
Oh, and another common theme among Super Bowl commercials? The slow mo shot of the chick walking towards the camera with her hair blowing in the wind, making sexy time faces at you the viewer. Don’t fall for this. I did and I gained 30 pounds of fat. On a side note – why are laundromats THE place to hit on hot women? When did that become fact?
Of course the prepubescent kids are drooling over the new Pepsi can and not Cindy’s cans. What a joke. Some will applaud this for misleading the viewer, for shaming them into having a libido, but I’m sorry I was 5 and no matter how much I hated cooties, if a chick like Crawford strolls up to a vending machine and sucks down a soda, I’m not focusing on the new can, I’m focusing on how I can convince a grown woman to commit pedophilia.
Why only dedicate 3-5 seconds of slow mo sexiness to your eye candy when you can just have the entire spot hone in on what counts? Is this the easiest money Lima’s ever made? Sit there, spin a ball, drop it, make everyone take a premature bathroom break.
Jeez, how wasted was I? How do I not remember this? Maybe the sheer hotness made me black out? I mean, Motorola probably saw Lima’s VS spot and was like, we can top that. The two gay guys slapping each other is what seals the deal for me.
So, this one was apparently banned from being shown at Super Bowl 43 but I’m not 100% sure why. Yes, there’s the gratuitous boob shots but it’s got the funny old dude spectating and a solid message at the end. The twins featured are actually one person – a former Miss Missouri who’s now engaged to Barry Zito. At least one person in that relationship experiences gatorade showers. Zing!
If there’s one advertiser who brings the WTF-ness to a whole new level with its commercials (besides PETA), it’s Ashley Madison. How high were the guys that pitched this? Let’s get a porn star, an overly enhanced hamster / gerbil, and a furry in a board room for a company orgy because some doosher cheated on his wife. It’s amazing
This one poked fun at the Janet Jackson nip entire boob slip from the previous Super Bowl. Candice was a WWE Diva (the first Diva Search contestant to win a title) before becoming the Go Daddy Girl and posing for Playboy’s April 2006 issue.
As soon as the review board, or whomever judges and approves spots for the Super Bowl, sees the word “PETA”, they’ve got to just assume it’s getting rejected. I wonder if PETA ever tries to re-cut their sh*t to be compliant and I’d also like to know how effective this is? Every year producing something that will never see the light of day on TV but will dominate discussions online. Maybe they could team up with GoDaddy and Ashley Madison to create the world’s first Super Bowl porn?
WHOA! Didn’t see a sunburn coming under the suit, did ya?! Of all the dumb ways to give us that inevitable “twist” in a spot – this has to be one of the dumbest, but I have to admit I did catch myself rooting for her to just whip out a t*tty. I will never learn.
Catrinel Menghia – Fiat 500 Abarth
Catrinel Menghia’s ad in the 2012 Superbowl was probably the one that stood out to us the most. It didn’t exactly disprove that small cars are feminine, but it sure as hell got us talking about them.
Adriana Lima, Gisele Bundchen, Heidi Klum, Ana Hickman, Laetitia Casta – Victoria’s Secret “What is Sexy”
The simple answer: 10s. They’re all 10′s. Can you imagine working on that shoot?
The ultimate male fantasy beer commercial has now become known as the beginning of the end for good Miller Lite commercials. This was their swan song. Since then they’ve opted for man laws and other bullsh*t that’s missed the mark. Kitana appeared in two WWE PPV events (with Tanya) and won Playboy’s “Girl Next Door” competition. In addition to the WWE cameos, Tanya appeared in Stuff‘s April 2003 issue.
Simona was born in and raised in Europe, splitting time between Milan, Italy and Vienna, Austria. She’s appeared on Mental, Shark, Cougar Club, and Entourage in addition to playing one of the hot Swedes in Beerfest. There’s a super f*cking hot deleted scene you should check out here.
This spot and the ladies’ careers can be summed up in two words: … AND TWIIIIIIIIIIIINS! Other credits include modeling on Let’s Make A Deal, bit parts in Problem Child 2, a spread in Maxim, dancing in WCW’s Nitro Girls group, and a cameo in Scary Movie 3.