You’ve got about five days to get your ass to Vail, Colorado.
This year’s the 13th annual “Big Beers, Belgians and Barleywines” festival is jumping off this coming Thursday, and you should go there and get drunk on good beer. Yeah, Vail’s expensive, but all those rich ski bunnies are going to be beer-drunk and will let you stay in their lodge because you look like you won’t judge them for farting. (You will, but appearance is everything.)
The only problem is that the organizer, Bill Lodge, seen in the video above, might be a serial killer. He just that look. Well, maybe with some of that liquid courage pumping through your veins, you can save the day by taking him out.