Bane Freestyles, Is a Sucka MC [VIDEO]

By Paul Ciampanelli December 12, 2012 2:15 pm Posted in funny, culture, Movies, Video Paul Ciampanelli g+ page

One of the problems with The Dark Knight Rises was that Bane’s evil plan was so unoriginal. He was just trying to finish the job — destroy Gotham City — that Ra’s al Ghul planned in “Batman Begins.” Ho hum, Bane.

Here’s an alternate version of the movie, in which Bane’s true goal is simply to be the dopest rapper in Gotham. Unfortunately, he’s completely wack on the mic. His flow is garbage, and he can barely rhyme. But don’t say that to his face unless you want your neck snapped.

What we really want to see is the climactic rap battle between Batman and Bane, when Batman raps about how Bane went to private school and his real name is Clarence and he lives with his parents, and the crowd goes, “Ohhh!” and Bane has no more street credibility whatsoever.