So we’ve all had some questionable sexual encounters with some awkward moments, but sometimes there’s crossing the line and just not recognizing there’s a line at all. If you find the girl you’re banging does one of these seven no-no’s, make sure to pull out and walk out. [lead image via Shutterstock]
1. The Prostate Massage. I don’t really think I need to explain this too much, but I will anyway. Um, girls if we wanted to have a finger or anything else in our ass, we probably wouldn’t be straight, so please don’t. I have yet to meet a guy that actually wants this “massage” and my friends are some of the kinkiest pervs around.
2. Crying. Seriously, what the f*ck. Instant boner kill. I think that if she starts breaking down, there might be some deeper issues that need to be figured out. Regardless, stop the sex and talk about it, maybe? If you actually care…
3. Talking About The Ex. This is just plain rude. If you’re still hung up and infatuated with your ex maybe you should be sucking him off instead of me. It takes one seriously dumb blonde to pull this one off, but if so you should finish up or not and head out ASAP.
4. Biting Nipples. Okay, so at first I thought biting/nibbling on nipples would feel nice and hot and whatever. But it doesn’t. Seriously, it hurts and takes the mind off the amazing sex we are having and instead directs it to the insane pain on my chest. Please stop.
5. Falling Asleep. Luckily, I’ve never had this happen to me, but a good friend of mine was a victim. Regardless of how bad the sex might be, it would really be appreciated if you wouldn’t just pass out in the middle of sex. Agreed, it would have to be some absolutely horrible sex to happen, but still give the guy some credit for trying!
6. Fart. Personally, I think farting and stuff is cool and not a big deal, but not when you’re hot and heavy. Letting one loose is a really easy way to turn a guy off and make it either really awkward or really funny. Either way, the sex is 99.9% not happening after one of those bad boys.
7. Love Bites. When things are sexy and sweaty, you don’t really notice the pleasurable biting and sucking of the neck. However, I didn’t realize how embarrassing hickeys are until I spotted a huge painful looking one on my boy’s neck. Apparently the job interview the next day didn’t go so well.