You know that you’ve won the week when you turn down a marriage proposal from the world’s biggest pop star and then break up with him. If that’s not living the life of a pimp, I honestly don’t know what is. Especially when that person you dump is named Justin Bieber. Don’t waste any tears on the little man, he’ll be just fine.
There were actually quite a few other ladies who could’ve taken the crown this week. They just didn’t make as big a splash.
Those runners-up include: Lady Gaga (for actually making me reconsider whether or not I think she’s unattractive with her “Cake” music video teaser), Lindsay Lohan (for starring the last ever REM music video and telling Barbara Walters to shove it), Rihanna (for posing in GQ topless), and Paula Broadwell (for getting caught having sex with arguably the most famous general / spy of our generation).
While we applaud these women for their efforts, it just wasn’t enough to take the crown.