Must-watch television here, folks. That’s really the only way that I can put it.
Hopefully by now you’ve heard of the University of Tennessee student who was allegedly hospitalized because he ‘butt chugged’ some boxed wine. In an attempt to clear his name, Alexander Broughton (aka Xander which is a super fratty nickname) along with his lawyer and the rest of his Pi Kappa Alpha brothers held a press conference.
Some of the highlights include:
• The lawyer vehemently denying that Alexander is gay
“Mr. Broughton denies each and every allegation whatsoever that has been infered that he may have been a gay man. He is a straight man. And he thinks the idea and concept of butt chugging is repulsive.”
• The lawyer discussing the Tour de Franzia
“That evening certain members of the Pi Kappa Alpha fraternity went to the fraternity and had a ‘Tour de Franzia.’ I hadn’t heard of that until Saturday morning, but I now know what it is.”
• Alexander seeming like a total c*nt at the end of the press conference, where he goes into why people might not choose to attend the University of Tennessee now.
Normally high school kids go to college. I guess you could get your GED, but normally high school kids go to college.
Here’s a link to the police report, which is equally hilarious.
I would like to think that normally I wouldn’t report on this (we all make mistakes) but this is just too much of a circus to miss out on.