“BRING BACK OUR HASSELHOFF! NOW!” David Hasselhoff is not only big in Germany (he’s the man responsible for bringing down the Berlin Wall), but he’s also big in the ice coffee-promotional world. So big, as a matter of fact, that enthusiastic Hoff fans are stealing cardboard likenesses of the beach legend from stores across New England. (Since we love puns, we’ll say, “Ripped Hoff!”) A Hoff effigy is being used to promote ice coffee in the area – and fans can’t keep their hands off him. Convenience stores can’t even keep the cardboard promotional cutouts overnight – because they keep getting stolen.
My advice to New England store owners: Shoot first then ask questions later. Send a message that this type of thievery will not be tolerated – even if it costs a few lives.
BRING BACK YOUR DAVID HASSELHOFFS OR SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!