Another reason to go completely mental in July: It’s National Bikini Month. This is no mere day-long celebration like the 4th of July. This is an entire month dedicated to the love of all things bikini. There’s also one day that’s really dedicated to it. On July 5th, 1946, the bikini made its debut during an outdoor fashion show at the Molitor Pool in Paris. Men around the world have been doing double-takes every since. This iconic swimwear has sinc brought us many classic images, probably culminating with Princess Leia’s metal bikini in Return of the Jedi.
A little trivia hotshot: The bikini actually comes in many different shapes and sizes.
If you go to Lake Havasu, Las Vegas pool parties, or the more exotic locales for Spring Break–well, you’ve probably laid eyes on the multitude of beautifully crafted bikini wear that the world has to offer. Now, as a tribute to National Bikini Month, prepare to have your mind blown…
The Classic Bikini
The most common type of bikini is a simple concoction: a standard two-piece with simple slip-on bottom and a bra-like top. While it might be one of the least revealing bikinis out there, it’s sometimes better to keep some things a secret. (Totally kidding.
The String Bikini
The string bikini is more revealing than the classic bikini. It consists of two triangles of fabric; one in the back, one in the front. This swimsuit gets its name from the string on the side that attaches it – which makes for easy removal. Always a good trait for an article of women’s clothing to have!
The Thong Bikini
Sometimes referred to as a large piece of dental floss, the thong bikini is a two-piece suit, with a standard top and a thong bottom. A triangle of fabric in the front and a piece of fabric that goes between the cheeks. You know, a thong, th-thong, thong thong!
The Boy Short Bikini
The boy short bikini combines the awesomeness of boy shorts with the awesomeness of bikinis. One of our favorites, we truly believe this is the greatest article of clothing known to man. If women could just start wearing this outfit all the time, we would never be sad.
The Sling Bikini
This classy number is sometimes called a “suspender bikini” or “slingshot bikini.” Made famous by Sacha Baron Cohen in his movie Borat, this is a one-piece suit that extends from the crotch, over the shoulders and connects in the back.
The pretzelikini has two sets of straps; one that wraps around the neck with a criss-cross and another that wraps around the midriff. A popular 80’s variation of the sling bikini, the pretzelikini also tastes excellent with mustard.
Why all bikinis aren’t like this, we have no idea. But they should be. A microkini is often a string bikini that has as little fabric covering the naughty bits as possible.
Basically, it’s a bikini that covers everything but the crotch – which is kinda cool in a “check out my junk” kind of way. Designed in 1985 by Rudi Gernreich, the pubikini is meant to expose the pubic hair. For obviously legal reasons, we don’t expect to see this one strolling down the boardwalk anytime soon.
The Clip Bikini
The one defining factor of the clip bikini is that it attaches with a clip instead of with a string or full fabric. Complicated, we know…
The tankini is a sexy combination of a bikini bottom with any tank top – though most of them are made of spandex-and-cotton or Lycra-and-nylon and have thin spaghetti straps.
The trikini is made up of a bikini bottom and any other two piece used to cover the breasts. (Most often, pasties are used.) Another version of the trikini is a kind of bikini-one-piece hybrid, with a thin piece of form-fitting fabric attaching the top and bottoms in the front.
Check this out: The seekini is like a normal bikini, but totally transparent. Why someone would wear this instead of just going full nude is beyond us. But we’re guessing it has to do with keeping the sand out (or just to toy with you).
(click thumb to view full image)
The bandeaukini has a tube-top, rather than a simple bra-like top. It wraps around the body, covering the breasts. Sometimes, a simple bandanna or belt is used. But that only happens in our wildest dreams…
The monokini is the term for wearing just the bottom part of a bikini – a practice we highly recommend. Popular on European beaches and with overweight, middle-aged dudes with leathery skin,