Follow my horoscope advice – to your DOOM! I am an expert on the zodiac. I own a crystal ball. I have a swami hat. Each of my fingers has a ring on it. The planets are on your side this week, so find out what’s in store for your future. Is it a torrid romance with a dwarf, success at staring, or hand-relief from Clerks director Kevin Smith? COED has truly inaccurate horoscopes….that will predict all! Here are your Harmonoscopes for the week. Read on to find out secrets of the unknown…AND MORE!