The Pimpingest Mormon Ever Is Sleeping With Twin Sisters + Their Cousin

Mitt Romney, move over — there’s a more pimp Mormon than you. Meet Joe Darger, the Salt Lake City resident who’s married twin sisters and their cousin. I think we can all agree that despite this guy’s poor taste in green shirts, Joe is living every man’s dream. On a similar note, you would have thought that at least one of them would have said something. [lead image via DailyMail]

It’s actually a pretty heartwarming story. In high school, the two sisters Vicki (right) and Valerie (center) found themselves having crushes on the same boys. Joe himself was interested in Vicki and her cousin Alina (left), so he did what any 18 year old with bowling-ball-sized-testicles would do: he dated them both simultaneously. Wait for it because this story gets better.

Image via DailyMail

After marrying both Vicki and Alina, the two actually suggested that Joe should complete the circle by starting to court Valerie who had just gone through a divorce with a man who was an abusive gambling drunk with six wives. Surprisingly, he needed ¬†convincing. “I had a connection with Valerie, but the fact she was Vicki’s twin was weird – they both had the same mannerisms. But Vicki opened my mind to it.”

The happy couple now have published a book called Love Times Three. Unfortunately, it sounds like Joe rotates through their various rooms as opposed to sharing a bed with the three ladies. The only negative aspect of this whole situation? They have 24 f*cking kids. That’s ridiculous.

If you were into the whole marrying an entire bloodline’s women, would the 24 children be a deal-breaker for you?



  1. Adam says:


    Two sixes don't make a twelve. Can mormons do anal? I'm guessing they let him in the back door on the first date to seal the deal. Only reason I can see for this.

    1. nycbass says:

      What about three sixes?

    2. Adam says:

      Do mormons use different math than the rest of us?

      I see it kinda like a chain, it's only as strong as the weakest link, and this one has at least one rusty link…

  2. Ian Parrish says:

    I feel it is important to note that Joe Darger is not a "Mormon," that is to say he is not a member of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. He is a member of the FLDS faith, an offshoot of the LDS church that has no affiliation with the LDS faith and has no right nor privilege to claim so. Any member known to practice polygamy in the LDS faith is excommunicated without question. The LDS faith is very different than those faiths that splintered from it. I just don't want people to get them mixed up, is all. Still a very entertaining article. haha

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