Thank You, EssayTyper.com! (It’s Cheating for School and Work!)

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Have to knock out an essay in a hurry, and you don’t care if it reads just like a Wikipedia entry? Then go to EssayTyper.com! This fantastic new site allows you to enter your category–Science, Math, Physics, whatever you’re failing–and then knock out a complete paper just by randomly hitting typewriter keys. A finished essay appears like magic, and you’re all set to be another unqualified person faking your way through life. But you’ll also want to bring EssayTyper.com with you after graduation. We’ve never found a more efficient way to look like we’re doing hard work (like, maybe transcribing that interview that was needed four days ago) while actually listening to the new Pennywise album streaming on Soundcloud. Did you know the new Pennywise album was streaming on Soundcloud? Yeah, it is. The songs aren’t bad, either–and that’s the most productive thought we’ve had all day, thanks to EssayTyper.com!

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