It’s that special time of year when Cosmopolitan–the magazine for women who dared to be sexy in the ’70s–once again presents their idea of a Sex Issue. Your girlfriend might already be infected. Maybe she picked up a copy while visiting her grandmother, or maybe her gynecologist keeps renewing an ancient subscription out of habit. The fact remains that innocent guys now have to deal with the consequences of what Cosmo considers to be sexy.
For example, here’s what Cosmo recommends as Steamy Texting: “Which bikini do you want me to wear: (1) black, (2) red, or (3) whipped cream?” Other cutting-edge sex tips include “6 Hot Things to Do With Ice.” Kinky! Cosmo also wants us to know that sangria is the Official Drink of Summer. Our research shows sangria was also the Official Drink of Summer in 1992, when it was considered a retro drink from 1975. The only good news is that Cosmo‘s relationship adviser is really stupid. A gal writes in that she was checking out her boyfriend’s new phone, and found a picture of his erect penis that he hadn’t sent to her: “Does that mean he is planning to send it to another chick?” Hilariously, the adviser explains that men are always fascinated by both their own penises and by trying out new phones, so there’s no reason to get suspicious. Thanks, adviser lady. Keep up the good work.
But there is one reason for guys to appreciate Cosmopolitan. The magazine has a proud tradition of sexing up the check-out lines of grocery stores with their saucy covers. That kind of thing never gets old. So let’s forgive and forget by looking back at 20 unforgettable Cosmo covers: