Craigslist Roommate Nightmares: Yuppie Bible Bangers, Husband Share, and Hello Kitty

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How sleazy do “roommate wanted” ads get on Craigslist? Pretty much as sleazy as it gets. This week we explore such big-red-flag potential roommates who want to be nude with you in the bathroom, share their husband, and have a big beef about “yuppie Bible bangers.”

Read on: You may never sleep well again…

$350 i have a room for rent

Ad Reads: i need a single female that would share my bath has shower only.you have to be ok with being nude using the bathroom becouse it would be hard to hide when its in my bedroom. im not looking for sex or a girl friend, please be over 35yrs im 56. I ENJOY SUCKING D*CK TOO!!!!!!!! MEN ARE WELCOME

Our Take: This ad reads like a murder mystery novel. At first you think this 56 year old just likes to see naked girls in the show, then it twists at the end when he shares his other passion as well. What would Agatha Christie make of this?

MARRIED COUPLE SEEKS FEMALE FWB

Ad Reads: HELLO THIS MAY SEEM WIERD BUT WE R SEEKING A FEMALE TO JOIN IN OUR FAMILY WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR SEVEN YRS AND ARE REALLY SECURE WITH OUR SELFS WE HAVE TWO KIDS THAT LIVE WITH US FULL TIME YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OWN SLEEPING QUARTERS IF YOU LIKE BUT WE HOPE EVENTUALLY WE ALL CAN SHARE THE SAME BED WE WANT A GIRLFRIEND LOVER FOR US BOTH WE ASK YOU TO BE HONEST AND WE ARE NOT FORCING A SEX THING JUST WANT TO TRY SOMETHING NEW LETS SEE WHERE THE THREE OF US CAN TAKE THINGS.

Our Take: Why are you shouting? Don’t you know all caps equals screaming? Without punctuation, this ad reads like a speed freaks 5:30am ranting. I image this couple, who are looking for a shared girlfriend, have a combined weight of over 2,560 lbs.

$400 Calling all freaks!

Ad Reads: YOU: Fun, don’t sit in your room all day, but no need to be best friends either. Be ok with nudity and sexual situations, and be open enough to get naked yourself haha! 420 ok, but not trying to make this a pot house lol. No drama, no bull sh**, and no thieves.

Bottom line is that we don’t want prudes, we don’t want uptight yuppie bible thumpers, and we don’t want boundaries on how we display affection in our home. We have seen a lot of ads on here recently talking about bdsm and nudity and all sorts of sex stuff….do it if you want to, or don’t, we don’t really care. Just be open and chill.

Our Take: Why set boundaries? Boundaries are for yuppie bible-thumpers. I hope you aren’t a yuppie bible-thumper when it comes to watching your new roommates have sex — always — in the living room while you are trying to do your homework. Remember: Just be open and chill – while living hell on earth.

A furnished room Available Available Now!!!!

Ad Reads: I’m 26 year old Japanese female. I’m looking for new share-mates. you can just move in with your baggage anytime!!

Share toilets, showers and Kitchen. Shopping street, supermarkets, convenience stores and drugstores nearby. Sex and nationality are unlimited.

If you are interested in sharing the house with me, I will be glad if you can contact me for more information. Waiting for someone friendly and responsible.

Our Take: Oh my god! This is plain adorable. I want to move in. When can I move in? Will my new Japanese roommate greet me while wearing a Hello Kitty backpack? No nightmare here — just my dream come true.

Have you had a Craigslist Roommate Nightmare? Let us know in the comment section below…

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