We enjoyed yesterday’s viral video to support the upcoming Prometheus. The only problem is that the sci-fi film footage came out branded as a viral video. We the People will judge what makes for a viral video, thank you–and sometimes we don’t like what we’re being served. There’s nothing more sad than faked footage that reads as superfake footage. Mourn with us as we look at three videos that score a big fail on the viral scale:
Did you ever think you’d get sick of watching a gorgeous gal from Australia speak to you for over three minutes? Just listen as this ditzy dame tries to sell you a jacket. See, she met this guy, and he’s not you, and he had a really nice blazer, but he left it behind, and he’s still not you, and now she’s looking for him on Youtube because that’s what hot blondes tend to do:
For maximum hatred, the ad geniuses behind this campaign actually made this poor blonde actress-with-a-capital-A publicly insist that this wasn’t a marketing campaign. She should’ve been paid more than Angelina Jolie would get for her first porn film.
What’s more annoying than fake corporate viral videos? How about an actual local news team going full-metal fictional and tossing out credibility with a lame attempt at an outrageous blooper? OMG, lulz at this newswoman:
How could she possibly anticipate that dropping a large object on a pile of powder would make a big mess? Oh, and the poor thing was wearing her best black outfit, too! Like the title says, “Blooper Alert!”
You know what’s a real turn-on? Sexy blondes from Denmark who get knocked up by tourists and then want the fathers to come back and visit again! What a fun way to learn about Denmark’s child-support laws! This screw-headed nonsense was supposed to encourage tourism, but it plays more like a mix between Jersey Shore, a Craigslist ad, and a particularly depressing foreign soap opera:
At least this unwed mother managed to fool some people. Too bad it was gullible Danes who got really pissed off at the idea that the woman was real. It would’ve taken some breastfeeding to convince us, and then we wouldn’t have cared. We’re still not going to Denmark. We’ve learned that women there get pregnant.