Five Craigslist Ads That Would Make Great Adult Films

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We’re usually on Craigslist looking for good deals in the Farm + Garden section. Sometimes we accidentally browse the Personals. Specifically, the “Missed Connections” section, because we like to feel good about ourselves by laughing at people desperately searching for love. That’s not why we look at the “Women 4 Women” listings, though. That gets us feeling good in a different way. Check out these Craigslist personals (compiled from all over) where ladies seek out the ladies who caught their eye earlier that week. These public postings are a potential goldmine for the right adult video company. For example:

Did you see that? She works in a store that sells bedsheets! What a prim little retail job, and this tattooed babe comes in to return something–“Oh, these sheets are too small because they keep getting balled up while I have wild lesbian sex”–and the saleslady can’t resist the customer’s beautiful smile. The only problem with this story is that the shy retailer ends up emoting on Craigslist instead of making good use of the back storage area. That’s what back storage areas are for!

The lesbian bar is where the action is supposed to happen! How did this lady screw it up? Well, the good news is that she’s now sharing her tale of being a little too drunk and distracted by boobs to pick up some girl who already knew her. You know, we get distracted by boobs. We should go hang out at this bar and fit right in.

This is clearly the set-up for an Oscar-winning porn film. Check out the symbolism. They’re in the produce section, and the girl in the orange jacket gets turned on while making eye-contact near the bananas–and then she drops the bananas! That’s right! Goodbye, phallic symbol! Hello, lesbian lust! Directed by Jane Campion.

Okay, so setting some girl/girl flirtation in a vibrator store isn’t groundbreaking. It still happened! Seriously, that lady was right there in one of the Toys in Babeland vibrator stores. It must’ve been so cute when that one rock ‘n roll gal was all tongue-tied while talking to the other rock ‘n roll gal. Why isn’t there a reality show about Toys in Babeland? We’ve been in their stores. They’re more interesting than any pawn shop.

This one has us now spending a lot of time at Best Buy. We never noticed how sexy the lady staff there look in their blue shirts and khakis. It seems there’s a lot of hot salesgal-on-femme-costumer action going on, if you watch carefully enough. A lot of secret smiles and little winks. Some people miss out on that, but that’s why we keep our eye on the Craigslist.

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