The magic number = how many people you’ve slept with, know in the biblical sense, taken to pound town, the number of candy shops you’ve been invited into (via 50 Cent). I think of “the number” as your SAT score; it’s important to some people for a year or so, but it doesn’t necessarily mean sh*t once you’re out of high school. In most circumstances, ignorance is bliss when it comes down to the number of guys a girl has banged. The only thing that matters is that she’s clean and can prove it. If she’s got valid proof that she’s not workin’ with a damaged undercarriage, that should be good enough.
The truth of the matter is that we all have our past. I have mine, you have yours, your girlfriend has hers, your mistress definitely has hers, and you know what? Sometimes the best thing is to not stir up what happened previously, especially when it doesn’t concern or involve you. If you’re not the most trusting person, you shouldn’t want to know a girl’s number. It’ll play on your mind too much when she answers that the number is any higher than “one.”
What if I meet a girl who’s an amazing person and is into me whole-heartedly, but she’s been with 40 guys? Am I going to let her wild college days deter me from finding her hot? I honestly don’t believe it’s worth it.
As you get older, you start to realize that certain things really don’t matter nearly as much as we make them out to. If I was still 18, and the girl I was with had already worked her way through the high school’s football starters, it would be a big deal to me. The fact is, though, that I’m not 18 anymore and neither are the women I see [Ed note: me neither man, it's OK].
If a women is 24, 25, or 29 and hasn’t been with a few partners in that time, that could actually be a worse sign to me. Some women value sex and associate it with love or as something special, it takes a certain kind of girl to pull that off. At this age, you really don’t want to have to teach someone the ropes. I’d personally rather a woman have been with a number of people and know what she’s doing when the clothes come off than the opposite. If that makes me weird, than whatever… Sorry you can’t handle the truth bombs I’m droppin’ on ya. [Ed note: plus, maybe she knows something you've never even seen before.]
How about when it comes to disclosing my number? Unless we’ve been dating for a good while, you have a better chance of seeing Jesus riding a unicorn through Middle Earth than you do of me giving up that info. I think it’s only fair that a girl respects my privacy just as much as I respect hers. After a while of being together, if it comes up in a conversation naturally and she wants honesty in the situation then I’ll man up and drop the number.
If she lets it affect her image of me, then she’s not really someone I want to be spending time with. Me and my past relations come as a package deal. There are far too many bigger things to deal with in life than how many guys your girl has banged, unless you’re worried you’re lackin’ in the loins… and that my friends is a whooooole other article in itself.
Remember one thing: numbers are just numbers, unless it’s their measurements. Amiright?
Until next week, party so hard that you’re rewarded with stock in Trojan Condoms.