Getting back with your ex… well, this is a tough one, but I have to say 9 times out of 10 that it is a terrible idea. The thing everyone seems to forget about exes is that they are an ex for a reason. No perfectly happy couple just wakes up one-day, looks each other in the eye and says, “Peace out!” It is so much easier to overlook the fact that things went awry when someone comes back into the picture. It’s easy to only remember the good things you had going on instead the truth about it all. [lead image via oliveromg / Shutterstock]
In order to get to the point where I’ll even consider getting back with an ex, I have to evaluate the reason we broke up and how the relationship was the first go-round. How long did we date? How was the dynamic when things were good? Was the sex good? Most importantly, though, is how things ended and who ended it? If we dated for a few months, and it ended with a relatively bad break for one reason or another, while I’ll probably still hook up with you, I’m not going to try and get you back anytime soon. If she broke up with me? Yeah, not going to happen again. Did someone cheat? No way in hell that one will ever work again. And don’t worry, I’m sure I’ve already deleted her from every form of communication ever invented.
The only time I will condone getting back with an ex is if it seems like there has been a significant change in one or both of you since you split, and that change that be a fix to the problem that caused the initial breakup. I can honestly say there’s only one ex girlfriend of mine I’d ever get back with, and its because of how things ended. I was head over heels for this girl (I’m talkin’ mixtapes-and-writing-songs-about-her level–don’t judge). We dated for a long time, but we were too young and too ambitious for it to work at that point. I wanted big things with my budding career, but I wasn’t mature enough to balance these things. I hit the panic button and ended things after 3 years. [image above via Steven Pepple/Shutterstock]
We broke up over something dumb, because we were young, but there’s always been a part of me that felt like we have unfinished business. We’re both older, have dated other people in the interim, stayed in touch with each other, and remained close over the years. We are just naturally more mature than the first time we did the damn thing. The only reason I’d give it a shot is that, when looking objectively at this particular situation, there is measurable potential for it to work. We have experienced growth as people, there’s been significant time apart, there’s been communication, and there’s been civility. If these factors or factors similar to these aren’t present, I don’t think you should even waste your time. And it’s rare that there’s potential with exes. I’ll say it again: exes are exes for a reason. [image above via Dmitry Kalinovsky/Shutterstock]
Think of it like this: is there anything bad you can say about the person? If there is, it probably isn’t worth your time to get involved with them again. Been apart for some time and still can’t say anything bad about them? Give it a shot. Whatever you do, though, don’t come running back crying if it doesn’t work out…again.