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Newsflash: March 14th isn’t only Steak and Blowjob Day. In South Korea, China, Taiwan, and Japan the residents celebrate “White Day” on March 14th. From what Wikipedia has told me, the day involves men giving gifts to the women who presented them with chocolate on Valentine’s Day. I’m all for integration of foreign cultures and customs, but there’s no way I’m giving up control of S&BJ Day. Therefore, I propose that instead of giving jewelry and expensive presents, we should tack onto our holiday by making our women wear white bikinis or lingerie. Just like the ladies below.

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