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WTFark Wednesday: Walk of Shame Shuttle, Snake Bites Balls, Nude Piano Man

BYU Chick Gets Sick Valentine’s Day Note

Some dork handed her a note that read: “You may want to consider that what you’re wearing has a negative effect on men (and women) around you. Many people come to this university because they feel safe, morally as well as physically, here. They expect others to abide by the Honor Code that we all agreed on. Please consider your commitment to the Honor Code (which you agreed to) when dressing each day. Thank you.”

Meanwhile, if this note were handed to her at ASU, it would’ve read, “How come you’re not in a bikini?”

British Tourist Bitten on Ball by Killer Snake

He asked his buddy to suck the venom out but he refused, instead driving him 40-minutes to a hospital to get the antidote.  “Just as I finished and was about to tuck everything safely away, it bit me. I had my pants around my knees when I hobbled into Roddy’s bedroom. My heart was racing and I was hallucinating.” He added: “The doctors and nurses were very professional. They didn’t take the mickey out of me being bitten on my wedding tackle.”

I have NO IDEA what any of that last sentence meant.

Walk of Shame Shuttle Service

University of Michigan Senior Kellyann Wargol launched a Walk of Shame Shuttle which offers a ride, a bottle of water, a $5-off coupon for the “morning after” pill and a complimentary high-five all for $5. Her flier reads, “Faster than a taxi because I speed (and I don’t judge).”

I feel like this is sort of similar to an alcoholic becoming a bartender. This is her way of cutting back on the random banging.

The Piano Man Charged With Breaking and Entering

Two teens — a male and a female — were at home when a drunken stranger stumbled in, played the piano, uttered a racial slur at the two teens — who are from Asia visiting relatives — and then went outside to skateboard. Police believe he had been driving drunk behind the wheel of a pickup truck pulling a U-Haul, which he crashed. He drove several blocks on three wheels and a broken axle.

Wherever this dude is moving, I’m following. Classic sauce.

First ‘test-tube’ hamburger to be produced this year

The world’s first “test-tube” meat, a hamburger made from a cow’s stem cells, will be produced this fall. The ingredients for his first burger are “still in a laboratory phase,” which doesn’t sound ominous at all.

This is officially the opening scene to the re-make of Soylent Green.

Best Buffalo at the Wedding

Some dude had his pet buffalo named Wildthing step in as “best man” when he renewed his wedding vows. The beast has lived with the couple and their three children Lloyd, 35, Will, 16 and Taylor, 14, at their family home in Texas since he was born in May 2005. Hmm, Lloyd appears to be a mistake, no? Anyone want to take bets on who’s f*cking that buffalo? Honestly, you don’t have ANY friends that could be your best man? Is this what happens when you get married? F*ck.

  • Neal LynchCOED Writer
    I've written thousands of articles including posts for COED, GuySpeed, TheFW, TV Fanatic, G-MEN HQ, BroBible, and NFL Spin Zone. I've also authored scripts for Woven Digital's short-form videos published by UPROXX and BroBible. Here are links to my writing samples and social networks: My Personal Blog http://neallynch.com/ Twitter https://twitter.com/realcinch Facebook https://www.facebook.com/NealLynch Instagram https://instagram.com/realcinch/ YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/realcinch NFL Spin Zone http://nflspinzone.com/author/neallynch/ BroBible http://brobible.com/author/neallynch/ GmenHQ http://gmenhq.com/author/neallynch/ GuySpeed http://guyspeed.com/author/neallynch/ TheFW http://thefw.com/author/neallynch/ COED http://coed.com/author/neallynch/