The only time I had a girlfriend on Valentine’s Day, I got her a vibrator and she broke it. Needless to say, sex wasn’t the problem in that ‘ship. She also was the only one (I think) that wore super hot lingerie for me. So, the next woman I wife up must pass a test first: would you wear ANY of this sh*t that model Lauren “Violet” Budd is putting on full display? No? Get out. What’s the story with Lauren? Well, that’s her birth name, Violet’s her model name and she’s been in Playboy France. Why hasn’t she blown up? Maybe because no one can get her facts straight – was she born in ’90 or ’91? British or Australian? Is she a double agent? I need answers and I needed them yesterday.