An estimated 100 million viewers will tune into the Super Bowl this year as the Patriots try to exact revenge on the team that cost them a perfect season in ’07-’08. While you might have a slightly larger group of actual football fans tuning in to see what should be a great matchup, the majority of viewers could care less about the action on the field and more about the commercials, which have become a side competition of sorts to see who can outdo the other in generating buzz. What’s the best way to blow $3 million or more on 30 seconds? We have 20 very sexy suggestions. See our top picks along with pics of the sultry stars then let us know if we missed anyone in the comments.
It didn’t get much hotter than Farrah Fawcett in the early 70s, but Noxzema managed to crank up the heat by putting their cream in her dainty hands. You gotta believe that Broadway Joe tried to sneak a couple smooches in between takes. If they didn’t bone, I’m calling it quits and swearing off porn for a fortnight.
Patrick’s a polarizing figure: she’s often under heavy criticism for using her looks (and not her talents on the track) to promote racing. Others think that she doesn’t really have the kind of sex appeal that warrants media attention, but she still gets our motors running. Even if we still can’t believe that she fully embraces the sex kitten approach to self-promotion.
The premise is unmistakeably based on her role as Daisy Duke in 2005’s Dukes of Hazzard movie. Some would argue that was the pop princess at her hottest. The fact she’s shoving these cheesy treats into some tween’s mouth is downright disturbing (like watching Demi Moore make out with a 15 year old). But, I’m sure the zit-riddled, metal-mouthed masses swarmed to get popped in the piehole.
This was a “winning” submission from 2009’s Crash the Super Bowl ad campaign & was featured in Super Bowl XLIII. I can’t imagine the sheer number of copycats who went out the next day obnoxiously crunching on Doritos and most likely breaking their candy-weakened teeth. Oh, and the takeaway here is if you don’t continuously eat Doritos, you’ll get hit by a bus. Der.
If there’s one thing most Super Bowl commercials have in common it’s – smoking hot girls and dumbass dudes getting crushed. I have to say Carmen’s get up is actually quite conservative, but she still makes us say ‘whoa’.
Oh, and another common theme among Super Bowl commercials? The slow mo shot of the chick walking towards the camera with her hair blowing in the wind, making sexy time faces at you the viewer. Don’t fall for this. I did and I gained 30 pounds of fat. On a side note – why are laundromats THE place to hit on hot women? When did that become fact?
Of course the prepubescent kids are drooling over the new Pepsi can and not Cindy’s cans. What a joke. Some will applaud this for misleading the viewer, for shaming them into having a libido, but I’m sorry I was 5 and no matter how much I hated cooties, if a chick like Crawford strolls up to a vending machine and sucks down a soda, I’m not focusing on the new can, I’m focusing on how I can convince a grown woman to commit pedophilia.
The formula for “success” with Super Bowl commercials is to jar the viewer with something unexpected, provocative, outrageous – usually with recognizable faces. Seeing as Misty May and Kerri were heavily favored going into the 2008 Summer Olympics, Visa wanted to tap into the excitement and anticipation around the event in Beijing. The duo ended up repeating as gold medalists, but many wondered if they had nipples in that commercial. Are they wearing special heated bikinis? Are they real life Barbies?
Why only dedicate 3-5 seconds of slow mo sexiness to your eye candy when you can just have the entire spot hone in on what counts? Is this the easiest money Lima’s ever made? Sit there, spin a ball, drop it, make everyone take a premature bathroom break.
Jeez, how wasted was I? How do I not remember this? Maybe the sheer hotness made me black out? I mean, Motorola probably saw Lima’s VS spot and was like, we can top that. The two gay guys slapping each other is what seals the deal for me.
So, this one was apparently banned from being shown at Super Bowl 43 but I’m not 100% sure why. Yes, there’s the gratuitous boob shots but it’s got the funny old dude spectating and a solid message at the end. The twins featured are actually one person – a former Miss Missouri who’s now engaged to Barry Zito. At least one person in that relationship experiences gatorade showers. Zing!
If there’s one advertiser who brings the WTF-ness to a whole new level with its commercials (besides PETA), it’s Ashley Madison. How high were the guys that pitched this? Let’s get a porn star, an overly enhanced hamster / gerbil, and a furry in a board room for a company orgy because some doosher cheated on his wife. It’s amazing
This one poked fun at the Janet Jackson
nip entire boob slip from the previous Super Bowl. Candice was a WWE Diva (the first Diva Search contestant to win a title) before becoming the Go Daddy Girl and posing for Playboy’s April 2006 issue.
As soon as the review board, or whomever judges and approves spots for the Super Bowl, sees the word “PETA”, they’ve got to just assume it’s getting rejected. I wonder if PETA ever tries to re-cut their sh*t to be compliant and I’d also like to know how effective this is? Every year producing something that will never see the light of day on TV but will dominate discussions online. Maybe they could team up with GoDaddy and Ashley Madison to create the world’s first Super Bowl porn?
WHOA! Didn’t see a sunburn coming under the suit, did ya?! Of all the dumb ways to give us that inevitable “twist” in a spot – this has to be one of the dumbest, but I have to admit I did catch myself rooting for her to just whip out a t*tty. I will never learn.
So, Kim doesn’t want to be known as the girl who got famous because she f*cked Ray J on camera, but yet she’s willing to do a commercial that basically re-creates her getting slammed by her trainer. There’s also the rumor that she used a body double for the shots of her walking away from the camera. Are dudes really going out and getting deformed sneakers because of this? Wouldn’t chicks prefer the stud trainer over a pair of cartoonish kicks?
The simple answer: 10s. Can you imagine working on that shoot?
Miller Lite Cat Fight Girls: Kitana Baker & Tanya Ballinger
The ultimate male fantasy beer commercial has now become known as the beginning of the end for good Miller Lite commercials. This was their swan song. Since then they’ve opted for man laws and other bullsh*t that’s missed the mark. Kitana appeared in two WWE PPV events (with Tanya) and won Playboy’s “Girl Next Door” competition. In addition to the WWE cameos, Tanya appeared in Stuff’s April 2003 issue.
Simona was born in and raised in Europe, splitting time between Milan, Italy and Vienna, Austria. She’s appeared on Mental, Shark, Cougar Club, and Entourage in addition to playing one of the hot Swedes in Beerfest. There’s a super f*cking hot deleted scene you should check out here.
This spot and the ladies’ careers can be summed up in two words: … AND TWIIIIIIIIIIIINS! Other credits include modeling on Let’s Make A Deal, bit parts in Problem Child 2, a spread in Maxim, dancing in WCW’s Nitro Girls group, and a cameo in Scary Movie 3.