Ask A Chick: Fingering, Ryan Gosling, Pot vs. Coke vs. Booze

By Edit Posted in Culture

What’s the deal with Ryan Gosling? Why do girls get all wet whenever his name is mentioned?

Have you seen “The Notebook”?! Or the pictures of him with his dog?!! Or for that matter, any picture of him at all?!?! The man is a living God; he’s GQ meets Prince Charming. Women see in him a man that’s sensitive but edgy, charismatic but mysterious, beautiful but not pretty. He always looks clean and put together, even when he’s rocking scruff, and he never has any trashy drama circulating the tabloids. Whenever life faces you with a choice, whether it’s getting dressed in the morning or how to handle a relationship problem, ask yourself “What would Ryan Gosling do?” Your sex life will prosper.

Gun to your head – would you rather date an alcoholic, pothead, or cokehead? You have to pick one.

Provided he doesn’t have violent tendencies and get whiskey dick, I’d probably chose the alcoholic. It’d be like keeping a piece of college with me forever. But if he’s emotionally or erectionally dysfunctional, I’d choose the pothead. He’d be a chill boyfriend and would always be down to watch movies. I would never date the cokehead because I’d be angry that he was spending so much money on coke when he could be using that money to buy me gifts. Also, cocaine is just tacky. I don’t care how popular it’s made Charlie Sheen, he’s a #loser.

Guys prefer BJs over handjobs, why don’t women prefer getting eaten out over getting fingered?

We do - when it’s done right. For guys, it’s hard to get a non-pleasurable ‘job unless there’s tooth action or she blue balls you. But for women, it’s all about the technique. There are two key factors to good head: patience and dexterity. Unless a guy is steadily hooking up with or dating the girl, they don’t realize the time they need to put in down there. This is not an easy task one can speed their way through, which is why patience is key. The other key to good head is the combination of hand and mouth placement. The union between fingering and mouthwork is similar to patting your head and rubbing your stomach. All I can say is: become good at multitasking.

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